Horoscopes

No, please don’t read it to me.

You know how it goes, you sit down for a two minute tea break and someone insists on telling you what some “psychic astrologer” considers to be your destiny.

So everyone with their birthday between the 23rd of September and the 22nd of October can expect the same Libran fate as me?

Being a twin, I am particularly cynical.

I mean, what happened to the nature verses nurture debate? Should we forget that and assume our futures are written in the stars?

I think not.

“Libra – Take a long, hard look at social media. Is it really serving you? If not, you can change it. Career plans for 2014-2015 will matter now. A gay man in your world needs your help. You also need to do more with an alternative, brilliant woman.”

Let me morph into my dumb blonde empty-headed alias for a minute and pretend to be interested…

Ok, social media, like this magazine for example. It is not serving me well, I think I’ll stop reading it. Career plans? I should think they do matter now. I should stop reading this magazine and get back to work. A gay man? I should think he does need my help, time to text my gay friend and offer my assistance.

“Hey gay man, how are you? You need my help. You may not know it but the stars know it. I am free on Tuesday at 7pm”

An alternative, brilliant woman…I should send another text…

“Hi alternative, brilliant woman. How are you? The stars tell me we should do more stuff together. I’m free Tuesday at around 7.30pm after I have helped a gay man.”

If you received either of these messages from me, just go with it. My horoscope did not tell me that two friends would think me strange this month, therefore I am not in danger of that happening.

That was fun, now back to being my sardonic self.

“COSMOSTROLOGY” That is not even a word!

Fortune cookies, however…well, how could a biscuit be wrong?

 

 

 

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