On the train this morning a man was eroding my flesh with his eyes. I glanced at him momentarily in the hope that it would unlock his stare. After a few more minutes of his soul boring gaze I came to the obvious conclusion that he was a cannibal and in the process of deciding whether I’d taste better cooked simply with some onion and garlic or given a bit of a kick with some chilli too. I looked at the pale flesh on my hands then met his stare.”Chilli?” I blurted out. “Yes!” He nodded and rubbed his hands together, confirming his hungry intentions.